


blue back into me

by crescentselene



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comfort/Angst, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21768373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentselene/pseuds/crescentselene
Summary: log #57the first time he cried out his heart
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	blue back into me

**Author's Note:**

> ▶️ Yerin Baek - Mr.gloomy

"Do you know how much all of this?" He asked.

"I don't think I can measure it."

"Why?"

At that time, I couldn't say anything. Because he looked so gloomy. Because I know that it's hard to throw away all of those precious things. Those things were everything for him at one time. Things that were bought for him with sincere intention, loving heart. Pretty sure it couldn't be measured through its price.

"Jonghyun." 

He picked up a small congratulations card. I remembered that card. It was given to him when he passed the bar exam along with a small blue round box. I don't know what was in the box up until now. I simply remembered it because the card has a pink bunny on the cover. Way too cute to be given to a 23-year-old guy. 

"You know," he opened the card, "sometimes I thought to myself: 'He is too good for me', 'I don't deserve to be his side.' I never doubted him until that day. Someone sent a weird text to me. I didn't really ponder about it. There was no sign about it. He was just like every other day. Sweet as always. But, somehow it lingered on my mind and it really kept me from sleep for a few days. You remember when you caught me eating at 2 am?"

I nodded at him. "Yeah, wondered what got you that night."

He chuckled. "Right, right. That was really, something that I wouldn't do, right? Then after that night...," he put the card back to the box. His eyes became distant as if he was reminded of something. "I might regret a little bit on why did I take that further. Sometimes—" he closed his eyes for a second and a tear escaped his eyes, "really just sometimes, Jonghyun, I wished I never found out." 

Finally, he let tears flowing down. It has been weeks, months, almost a year. I was worried sick with how he had been putting up. Binge eating at late night, adopting a pair of hamsters because he thought it was cute, drinking way too much at a company dinner, that continuous one night stands, and that unplanned vacation to London. And I was glad that he, at last, didn't hold himself back. 

I crouched down to hug him. 

I didn't know what to do, to be honest. I had seen him cry before: 1) when a girl he had a crush on in elementary school gave him a flower on graduation day, 2) when he found after school that his mother went into the emergency room after slipping and falling on the bathroom, and 3) when he failed the SAT, but not like this. It was my first time seeing him crying sorrowfully like this. So, while hugging him, I pat his back.

"Jonghyun."

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault, Minhyun."

And that night he cried harder and longer for the first time in his life.

For something that he hopes to never know.


End file.
